Hi everyone, it’s Dr. Robyn. I’m here to talk to you today about how to get over the fear of putting yourself out there. And so this is a topic that’s really near and dear to me because it is something that I have struggled with in the past. I really strongly just being afraid to really just step out on faith and put myself out there and do what I felt like I have been called to do. But most recently I have decided I am not going to let that happen anymore and I am just gonna start putting myself out there and see what happens and really allow my gift to touch other people’s lives. Because when I’m just back hiding and I am not sharing myself other people aren’t benefiting from what I have to offer and I do feel like I am a person of value and worth and so I need to learn how to put myself out there. And so I figured that this is not something that I am alone with. I know that I have talked to tons of women out there who really struggle with putting themselves out there, whether it is that they wanna start a new business, they want to, you know, start a speaking business that they want to do. They want to, you know, start a new daycare at their home and they are just kind of concern about, you know, will people take me seriously? Will, you know, I get likes if I go on social media? Will people patronize my business? And so it’s a lot of folks that I have come in contact with that are struggling with this. And so as I have been kind of going through the process of putting myself out there I figured, why not share with other people what I have been learning about this process and how to really just kind of get over the fear of putting yourself out there? So this is where this comes from. So I really hope that this is useful to you. I thank you so much for viewing and please leave me a comment if you find that anything that I say is helpful and resonates with you. I would love to connect around this topic.
Alright, so I’m going to share five strategies I think that really help with kind of putting yourself out there. And so the first one that I think is really important that will help you to put yourself out there is to prepare. So you want to, you know, know what you are talking about if you are going to, say that you are going to be a motivational speaker or if you say you are gonna be a personal trainer. You want to know your content and know your stuff so can feel confident but you don’t wanna over prepare. So I know when I was kind of thinking about, you know, getting on social media I was like, well I have to study it and I have to learn, you know, all of the different intricacies of it before I put myself out there. And that’s not really necessary. You know, a part of the process of doing something new is that it’s gonna be scary. You are gonna be concerned about, you know, am I doing this right, and that’s just normal and so you have to accept that that’s a part of the process. So you want to prepare but don’t wait until you feel comfortable to start because you are never gonna feel comfortable, especially when you are doing something that’s new to you. If you have never done it before it is supposed to be weird and it is supposed to be awkward but, you know, the positive aspect of that is that the more you do it the better you will get at it and then it will start to feel comfortable. But at the beginning when you are just starting and putting yourself out there you can’t wait until you fee 100 percent comfortable because that will never happen and then you will just never end up doing what you want to do. And so I think it is really important to keep that in mind because that’s something that was really nagging on me when I was like holding myself back from putting myself out there. It was like I could, you know, sit back and not do what I feel like I have been called to do but I just didn’t feel content. Like, I felt like there was more that I should be doing and so I really just didn’t wanna, you know, be one of those people who end up just kind of getting by in life and then at the end having all of these regrets when I’m laying on my death bed about, you know, what I didn’t do, what I should have done, what I could have done and so that’s what really inspired me to, you know, start putting myself out there and say like, no! I’m going to do this. So that’s the first point, prepare but don’t wait until you feel 100 percent comfortable because you will never feel 100 percent comfortable. Let yourself feel the fear and do it anyway. Put yourself out there. Alright, so that’s the first one.
The second one is for you to set realistic expectations for yourself, okay? So you cannot expect to be perfect the first time you put yourself out there or even the second or even the third time. You are going to fumble, you are going to make mistakes, you are going to trip up a little bit, there is going to be things that you don’t maybe understand about, whatever, an arena that are trying to step into. So you have to just set realistic goals and just really give yourself credit for being willing to put yourself out there. That’s a huge, huge step and so don’t have all of these really unrealistic expectations. I know for myself one thing that I really struggled with because I do try to do things to the best of my ability but sometimes that kind of gets in the realm of trying to be perfect, which we never can achieve perfection but for some reason we still try. But the issue that I have struggled with before in the past is like feeling like, well I have to go hard or I am not going to do it at all. And while that make sense, and you should put your best foot forward, sometimes you just can’t go that hard when you are doing something brand new. You can give it your best effort but you just need to be realistic that, you know, I am not going to do it perfect the first time, and that’s okay. The thing that I really care about and what is motivating me is just putting myself out there and giving myself a starting place. And again, you will get better as you continue to do it.
Alright, and so then the third point that I think will help you to start putting yourself out there and overcoming this fear is recognizing that your journey is your journey. So what I mean by that is, don’t be comparing yourself to other people. So, don’t go, you know, looking at what other people do, what their website looks like or how they set up their business and try to like mimic everything that they do because when you do that you are really robbing yourself and your potential followers and community that you want to connect with of the opportunity to really connect with the authentic person you are. So you don’t want to try to be like someone else or try to get in someone else’s lane but just realize that it’s your journey that you are on and you don’t have to compare yourself to other people because you have something to offer that nobody else in this world can offer. Yes they have talent, yes they have gifts but it’s not what you have to offer. And so you should really be confident in that and stand solid in that truth that you have something that’s wonderful and awesome and you want to just focus on staying in your lane is the take home point with that one. So don’t compare yourself to other people. Just focus on being the best version of yourself and that should be enough challenge within itself because we always have more room to grow. So that’s the third point.
Then the fourth one, which I feel is really important is to make sure that you make very clear distinctions between your self worth as a person and the behavioral results that you may get as a result of putting yourself out there. So why I’m saying this is because I know sometimes when you may struggle with putting yourself out there and you feel insecure about it, you become very sensitive to the outcome of what you do. So for instance, if you do YouTube video and you put it out there or you do Facebook Live and no one is subscribing to it, no one is looking at it, you get no feedback from people, they are not commenting, they are not liking it, one pitfall that you can fall into is saying well, like, I suck. Like, nobody wants to hear anything that I have to say. I have no value; I have no worth, so I should just stop doing this before I embarrass myself even more. And that’s not the case, it may be that people didn’t like it and they didn’t follow you right away but that does not say anything about who you are as a person your value and what you have to offer. Those are two totally different things. So the outcome may not be exactly what you hope that it would be but that does not diminish the gift that you have to offer people. So again, it’s really about persistence and making sure that you have a solid sense of who you are as a person, that you don’t get caught up with, you know, thinking that just because you are not getting the results that you wanted right away that that means that you are of no value or that people aren’t interested in you. Because it may just mean that they need some time to find you and once they find you they are really gonna be excited and your following is gonna be great. So really take that into consideration and make sure that you put yourself out there, begin to recognize that the outcomes might not be what you want them to be, has nothing to do with your worth and your value as a person.
And then the last point, the fifth point is really to recognize that you are not going to be for everybody. And so this is something that like I have really struggled with before in the past, this feeling like, well everybody needs to like me. Everybody needs to be on board with what I’m doing. I’m trying to do something, I’m trying to motivate women, why wouldn’t people, you know, want to get onboard with this? Why wouldn’t people wanna like me? And the truth is that everybody is not going to be interested in what you have going on and that’s okay. The people who you are supposed to touch, the people who you are supposed to reach, you’ll end up reaching them. They will end up following you. They will rock with you. They will support you. They will lift you up. And those are the people that you want to have in your corner. So you don’t want to be spending a lot of time, yes you want to, you know, put out marketing materials and try to reach as many of your target audience as you can but you don’t want to get into the place of like trying to convince people why they should like you or trying to make, you know, friendships happen or trying or compromising yourself and your values just for the sake of making somebody want to follow you or want to like what you have to offer. Because then you end up just not being happy with yourself because again, you are not being genuine. You are not being authentic and you are robbing people of the opportunity they get of knowing you, the real true you.
So, again, these are aspects of putting yourself out there that I wanted to share. So I’ll quickly review what I shared with you and I hope that this has really resonated with you and you have found it helpful. So the first point is to, when you are ready to put yourself out there, prepare, know what you are talking about but don’t wait until you are completely comfortable because you won’t be completely comfortable.
Second point, set very realistic expectations for yourself. So don’t expect to hit it at the park right away. You will make improvements, you will get better as you go along but the main goal is just to start somewhere and put yourself out there.
Third, recognize that you wanna stay in your lane. Your journey is yours. Don’t be comparing yourself to other people and starting to feel bad about yourself because you don’t measure up. Because that’s not what you are supposed to do. You are supposed to be the best version of you.
The fourth point is, make really clear distinctions between your self worth and your value and the results that you get. So just because you are not getting enough followers right away or people aren’t tuning in that you want them to, that has nothing to do with your intrinsic worth and value as a person. So don’t start to connect those things together just because maybe a post wasn’t a home run or you may deem that to be a failure that doesn’t then in turn make you a failure. That’s a really important distinction.
And then the last point is that you are not going to be for everybody, and that’s okay. People are moving, do what you do be authentic be true to you keep trying to grow and be the best version of yourself and the people who you are supposed to touch, the lives that you are supposed to impact they will come and they will be impacted.
So I hope you have found this helpful, thank you so much for tuning in. Leave me a comment and let me know what you thought about what I had to say and I will be making more of these videos, with the hope of really inspiring women to really be the best that they can be, reach their full potential. I know a lot of us have had things that happen in life to knock us down, to knock us off our game and we really want to be out there doing better, being better and really leaving this world a better place than we found it. And so I just want to inspire other women to do those things that they have on their heart to do and help them along on their journey. And so that’s why I am dong these videos and so I hope that that helps you and I will look forward to connecting with you soon.